Dark, So Dark
by Sutoomu
Summary: Horrible memories of Quatre's past are resurfacing early, torturing the little blonde. His friends are stuck between two choices to help him, both which will hurt him greatly and perhaps cause them to lose him forever in his mind.
1. I

**Dark, So Dark**

Sutoomu 

This is another fic I've started writing while my internet connection was down. It was originally a drabble written on random pieces of lined paper long ago when I just started writing GW fics, and now it's blossomed over the past months into this! The fic 'Dark, So Dark'. I hope you like this first chapter, since I've been waiting a long time to post this. This is one of the first fics where I've gotten a bit braver in the intimacy and stuff, so I hope you enjoy it all, and review when you finish reading it, please. Ask me questions. I like questions. And I reply to every review I get, 'cause reviewers are special and important! And if I get reviews, I'll post the next chapter, and then the next, because I have at least five prepared and ready to go!

Enjoy, please!

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_'Dark, so dark.' _

_He closed his eyes, trying to shut the darkness out. It passed through his eyelids, persisting in its relentless torture. 'Dark...too dark!' A silent scream echoed in his mind as he began to panic. It stopped suddenly, and he relaxed, the reason how he was able to as known to him as the inside of a black hole. Wait...he knew. he knew the inside of a black hole. It was dark and cold. He was in the black hole, the black hole of death. He was in the dark, and it was so very cold. He shivered, sitting on the cold cement floor, his knees tucked under his chin, trembling with cold and fear._

_His senses heightened and he lifted his head, eyes wide. 'No. No!' They were back. They came back! The whispers...whispers of the dead. 'No, no, no, no...go away!' His mind screamed. 'Go away! Get out! No! Leave me alone!' They whisper in his head. He's grabbed his head with his hands now, pushing, trying to push them out. They laugh, and he cries, clawing at his chest, trying to stop! To stop...stop feeling them! 'It hurts, oh, Allah, it hurts!' They laugh, but it is filled with pain, hurting his mind, his heart. 'It hurts...,' he whimpers. It seems to get stronger at this statement. 'No..no, I can't...can't...stand it!' He screams, the pain growing every second it goes on. Oh the pain...! The darkness is closing on him, crushing him, and he screams again._

_'Dark, so dark.'_

He gasped, tearing his blue eyes open. They darted around nervously. He felt the carpet beneath him and looked up at the not-quite-white color of the ceiling. He was in the livingroom...but how did he get here? He heard a sudden pounding from above him, the sound of a door hitting the wall, and then footsteps descending stairs rapidly. More doors slam open, more steps...

He realized he was trembling, shaking, and covered in sweat. Fear lingered in his mind, erasing the calm, happy little angel. He closed his eyes, trying to remember...'No! Don't remember! Run, hide! Quickly! Don't remember!' He heard someone saying something...his name? What was his name? Quatre? That's right, Quatre. He sighed, then screamed and pulled away as something suddenly touched his arm, jerking his eyes open.

"Quatre?"

Quatre looked up at a face...a face he knew. Who...? "Tr-trowa?" He blinked nervously, as if trying to attempt to shut out the still present feeling of darkness and see Trowa at the same time.

"Quatre, koi, what's wrong?" Trowa asked, tenderly brushing back Quatre's golden white bangs. Quatre swallowed, then reached up towards Trowa as though a little child. Trowa took his arms and pulled the violently trembling boy close to him, stroking his back.

"Quat!"

Quatre could see Duo now, still with a gun in his hand and clad in boxers. Heero was behind him, a gun still aimed at whatever invisible danger might be in the room, also clad in boxers but with a loose shirt on. Wufei had just entered, wearing a pair of loose white pajama pants.

"What's wrong, koishii?" Trowa asked again. "Hush, shh. It's okay, little one." He set his cheek on Quatre's head.

Quatre realized he was crying now, and in front of his love and friends! But, for some reason, he didn't care a bit. To hell with all that 'boys don't cry' shit! Quatre sat, crying silently and trembling in Trowa's arms, his lover's strong arms around him, stroking his back in comfort. He felt Duo's caring hand on his shoulder and unconsciously thanked his best friend. Even Heero and Wufei stood nearby, looking on in concern, as he cried into Trowa's chest.

Finally, his sobs stopped, and he sat hiccuping for a while before shifting. Trowa adjusted to him, and Quatre ended up sitting with his back against Trowa's chest and his head resting on his shoulder, Trowa's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Koi?" Trowa suddenly whispered, brushing a kiss on Quatre's temple. "Are you alright?"

Alright? No. He was cold, and it was dark and lonely, and he was hungry, oh, so hungry! And thirsty. He tried to remember when he had last eaten or drank. It seemed like forever. "I'm thirsty," he croaked through cracked lips. It stung from the salt of his tears. How had he gotten cracked lips? "And hungry!"

"Me an' Wuffers will make you a big night time snack right away, 'kay?" Duo assured him, trying to smile through his worry and concern. "You just relax." He reluctantly stood up and left, Wufei following. Wufei hadn't argued Duo's nickname for him for once, which meant genuine concern from the chinese boy.

"H-how...did I get...here?" Quatre asked, still shaking and swallowing from a parched throat.

"You fell asleep on the couch early this evening and looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you," Trowa looked to the side in thought. "Maybe I should have..."

Quatre leaned closer to his koi to reassure him he had no fault. He would have said so, but talking hurt his throat. Wufei came in with a tall glass of cool, clear water and Quatre drank it all thirstily without pausing for breath. Wufei took the glass and returned to the kitchen.

"Little one," Trowa said softly, then kissed him on the back of his ear. Quatre was too tired to giggle like he usually did when Trowa did that to him, since he was very ticklish there, but he did try to smile, failing. His eyelids were so heavy! But he couldn't close them. 'No! Run, hide! Quickly!'

Trowa felt Quatre flinch and struggle for a moment, battling with something he saw when he closed his eyes. "Quatre!" he said, snapping the boy back to reality. Quatre remained tense for a few moments before relaxing into Trowa again, breathing him in. He was still trembling, but not as bad as before. It was like an involuntary body movement.

"Snacks on the table," Duo came in, placing himself at Quatre's side. "Come on, Q-man, let's get you fed."

Trowa and Duo lifted Quatre to his feet. He stepped forward a step before collapsing suddenly, unable to walk. Trowa simply lifted him into his arms like a baby, like the first night they had spent together, and carried him to the kitchen. Quatre flushed red as he thought how weak he must look. He hated looking weak. Trowa placed him on a chair, setting his own chair close to it. He laid his arm around Quatre in extra support.

"It's cold," Quatre said. Heero left the room and quickly returned with a quilt, draping it over Quatre's shoulders. "And so dark." This was whispered so low they nearly missed it. Wufei flicked on all the lights in the kitchen, flooding the room with light. Duo placed a heap of pre-cooked sausages, garlic bread, and ice cream on the table. None of the others ate as Quatre ate three sausages, the near whole garlic bread, and half the carton of ice cream.

"Wow," Wufei said, trying to lighten the mood. "You eat almost as much as Maxwell." He snorted.

"I do have a name, Changles," Duo returned as per usual, loads of retort dripping from his words.

"Baka," Wufei growled, about to start an argument. "You..."

He was interupted by Trowa. "I'm going to take him to bed now," he said as he pulled the wet spoon out of Quatre's mouth, whose hand had lost its mobility while it was still in his mouth. His head was drooping slowly towards the container of sticky ice cream. Trowa picked him up and he stirred.

"I don' wanna go ta bed," he mumbled into Trowa's shirt. He snuggled closer to Trowa, half asleep, and smiled for the first time since he had woken everyone up. Trowa brought him to their room and sat him on the bed. He gently changed his koi from his jeans and button up shirt into smooth, clean pajamas and slipped him into the bed. Trowa slipped in beside him, gathering him close in his arms. Quatre mumbled something into his chest, then sighed and cuddled as close as possible. Trowa heard and felt the slow, even breaths soon as Quatre fell asleep, but he could only lie awake and ponder what made his angel so frightened he still trembled slightly while peacefully asleep.

OOOOO

Duo stared long at the door after Trowa had left with Quatre until an arm grabbed his waist firmly and pulled him up out of his chair. Heero's lips pressed against his, surprising him a bit.

"Come to bed, baka," Heero breathed into his ear, saying the insult in a way only Duo ever heard. "Trowa will make sure Quatre's fine." He twined his fingers round Duo's and led him off, leaving Wufei to stare at the table and listen to the clock ticking...

They entered their room and Duo sat in Heero's lap, Heero stroking his long hair. Heero loved Duo's hair. Duo sighed suddenly, and his body hiccuped as a small sob came through. He cut it off, but too late. Heero reached his arms around his chest and pulled Duo closer to him. "What?" he said simply.

"Nothing, Hee-chan," the american shrugged, back in control.

"Hn," Heero grunted, squeezing Duo a bit.

Duo winced as his skin protested. He loved Heero, and knew Heero loved him back, but the stoic pilot could still be rather rough sometimes. Accidentally, of course. "I...it just...hurts to see Quatre in so much pain like that," he said, struggling to mantain control of his emotions. He was painfully aware of the extreme silence that followed. He fully expected Heero to push him away and tell him to toughen up. What happened surprised him.

"I know," Heero finally said. "It does hurt."

"You know?" Duo twisted to see Heero. Heero 'hn-ed' and looked at Duo with open eyes, full of emotion. Worry, pain, concern...love...and fear? Was that apprehension? The 'perfect soldier' was afraid? Duo could've cried for joy, but he knew that would scare Heero back into his shell. "He just seems so innocent," Duo said instead.

Heero snorted. "Quatre is anything but innocent," he said. "He's killed people, in and out of a gundam, he's damn good with knives and strategies, and he has Trowa. Anything but innocent."

"Yah, but still...," Duo replied. "With his big blue eyes and gorgeous golden white hair and shorter stature..." He cut off as Heero's grip tightened possessively. "Aaw, Hee-chan, you jealous?"

"No," Heero grunted. He let go and prodded Duo up, a bad sign. Duo moved quickly to rectify the situation.

Duo turned and pressed his lips tightly onto Heero's, tasting his salty sweet taste. "You know I could only ever love you, Heero," he murmured affectionately. Heero looked at him, then drew him forward into a bruising kiss. Duo opened his mouth and Heero's tongue swept in, battling with his own. They parted for breath and Duo breathed heavily as Heero slid a hand down his bare chest to his hip The simple touch sent shivers throughout Duo's body and he welcomed it, pulling Heero's shirt off and meeting his mouth again as he slid down and their skin touched.

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Well, did you like it? Was it boring? What did you like? Want more? Please review and ask me anything. But be nice, please. Critisicm is welcome, as long as it has praise in it as well. Otherwise, it's depressing and a flame. Review, please!

Storm


	2. II

**Dark, So Dark**

**Sutoomu**

Here is the second chapter of Dark, So Dark. /sniffles/ I only got one review for this story so far. Which means...

ANISSA32 IS MY FAVORITE REVIEWER IN THE WORLD NOW! Because she reviewed the first chapter when no one else would...

Anyhoo, now that my mourning and thanking is done, on with the second chapter. Maybe more people will read and like it once it gets a few more chapters. Please review!

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Quatre woke to Trowa's scent, a very pleasant feeling. He sighed and put his arm around his love, trying to get closer. Trowa murmured and shifted, then opened his visible eye and blinked groggily at Quatre, who stared back, his own eyes fogged still with dreams.

"Good morning, little one," Trowa said softly.

"Mhm," was all Quatre could say back as he snuggled. Trowa bit back a huge grin.

"You look so cute when you do that," he murmured into Quatre's fluffed up hair. "Almost too cute for me to stand..."

"Mmm," Quatre replied, tilting his head up while straightening. He caught Trowa unaware quickly with a short yet sultry kiss. Just enough to tempt him, Quatre thought as he blocked his mouth away teasingly in Trowa's shirt. When he peeked, he saw Trowa pouting sadly, and he came up out of guilt. Trowa suddenly grinned maniacally, the grin Quatre associated with 'he's-up-to-something-sneaky', and he started as Trowa grabbed his mouth deeply with his own. Quatre automatically returned the passion, letting Trowa's tongue enter his mouth for a second, then broke off and retreated to the far side of the bed, giggling in enjoyment at teasing his koi.

"Ah-ha, now you get what you deserve," Trowa cackled playfully. "The wrath of Tro-chan be upon you."

Quatre's eyes widened in horror. "No, Trowa, please! Please don't aha-hah-aha!" Quatre burst out laughing uncontrollably as Trowa's fingers mercilessly attacked his sides. "Tro-wah-haha-ha! Sto-hahah-stop!" Quatre somehow managed to twist and wriggle until he was at the end of the bed, then fell to the floor with a 'thump', still laughing and gasping for breath. Trowa peeked over the edge of the bed for a moment, mischief sparkling in his green eyes, then rolled off the bed to land beside Quatre.

"Shall you submit, or must I continue the torture?" he asked in a booming voice, fingers poised.

"No," Quatre gasped. "I submit, I submit! No more torture!"

"Music to my ears, little one," Trowa whispered. He trailed his kisses down Quatre's neck and shoulders. He met Quatre's lips with his own, the touch burning of love and desire as his hand moved down to Quatre's hip. Quatre moaned through Trowa's lips as Trowa's hand slowly moved inward, finally reaching inbetween his thighs. Quatre's hands reached up and pulled Trowa on top of him, pressing hard into him and tasting Trowa's mouth with his tongue.

"Hey, lovebirds!" A fist pounded on the door, accompanied by Wufei's voice. "Bacon and waffles are ready downstairs! And don't stay up here and waste it! I went to a great trouble making it..." He was still grumbling as his steps headed away.

"Damn Wufei," Trowa swore, and Quatre frowned at him. Trowa quickly apologized, knowing how Quatre hated cursing. He moved from on top of him and took Quatre's hand in his own, staring lovingly at Quatre's smooth face.

"Trowa," Quatre said quietly as they lay on the floor, Trowa stroking his hair.

"Yes, koi?"

"I'm hungry." Trowa couldn't help but smile, which caused Quatre to smile happily as well. Trowa stood and offered Quatre a hand, which he took gladly. Quatre got to his feet and then fell back to his knees as his legs buckled under him.

"Quatre?" Trowa knelt beside him, eyes filled with sudden worry.

"I'm fine," Quatre said quickly. "Just a little winded from Tro-chan's wrath." He grinned and used Trowa's shoulder to stand. Immediately, the room spun and he went down again.

"No, you're not fine," Trowa stated with a frown.

"I'm just a little tired and dizzy, Trowa," Quatre argued. "I'm hungry, more, though." He sighed. "So, just take me downstairs now so I can eat." Quatre waved a hand absently at Trowa. Trowa rolled his eyes and scooped the arabian up.

"As you command, Master," he said, heading out the door.

"Trowa," Quatre said as they descended the stairs. "I feel like taking a nice long bath after breakfast with a certain someone. A nice, long bath." Trowa clicked his tongue and chuckled, and Quatre smirked knowingly.

OOOOO

Wufei left Trowa and Quatre's door and walked down the hall to Heero and Duo's room. He listened first, to check if they were awake, then proceeded to pound on the door as he heard nothing. "Breakfast, and hurry up!" he yelled, then suddenly retreated as he heard a yell, a loud crash, and a groan of pain.

"Heero, I'm so sorry!" he heard Duo exclaim, before hearing footsteps echo towards the door.

"Duo, you braided baka," Heero called. "Get back here. It wasn't your fault!

'What's this?' Wufei thought, smirking. 'The great Yuy not blaming it on Duo?' A moment in history. And his death sentence is he didn't vanish. He quickly slipped back downstairs to check on his bacon.

OOOOO

Duo stared warily at Heero. "Not my fault?" he asked. "You're not gonna kill me?"

"No," Heero drew out the word. "Why would I do that?"

Duo pouted. "You're always threatening to kill me. 'Omae o korosu' and all that."

"Baka," Heeo said, stretching out an arm. "Come here." Duo obliged and willingly took in Heero's kiss.

"Come on, 'Ro," Duo murmured. "Let's get breakfast before Quatre gets there."

"Good point," Heero agreed, and they dressed and headed downstairs to the smell of slightly burnt bacon, toasty waffles, coffee, and the sound of Wufei cursing.

"Damn onna stove," he muttered.

Duo chuckled and took Heero's hand, pulling him to him, and Heero didn't pull away like he sometimes did. Duo sat down, reluctantly giving up his koi's hand for another love, waffles! Of course, any food was loved by Duo. He continued to coat his waffles in butter and syrup until it became horribly mushy. He speared his first bite with his fork, then stopped with it halfway to his mouth.

"Quatre?" Duo looked in alarm at Quatre in Trowa's arms, his fork dropping with a clatter onto his plate. "Are you alright?"

"He's being stubborn," Trowa stated, depositing him in a chair with a sour look on his face.

"I'm fine," Quatre insisted. "I'm just a little tired and dizzy. It'll pass after I eat. I don't know why, but I'm famished."

Duo was glad Quatre hadn't said starving, or he would've automatically argued with him. None of them knew what truly being 'starving' was except him, and he hated it when people used the term so lightly. He remembered his waffles and picked up his fork, putting the soft waffles into his mouth.

"Should you be up?" Heero asked. "You looked pretty bad last night."

"I'm fine," Quatre said adamantly, reaching a hand out for a waffle. He paused, staring at his outstretched hand. After a small moment, the rest stared at it too, following the surprised arabian's look. His hand was trembling, ever so slightly, but definitely noticable.

"Quatre...," Trowa began

"No!" Quatre set his jaw and spoke with more command and rebellion than they had ever heard before. "I'm going to eat and take a bath! Then, and only then, I'll go to bed." They all stared at him in surprise as he stubbornly grabbed three waffles and dug in, thirstily drinking chocolate milk from the carton between bites.

"I guess that settles that!" Duo laughed, enjoying his own food. He considered stealing the chocolate milk away, then decided on a better target. He took the apple from Heero's hand, bit out a chunk, and replaced it a split second later, all as it was on its way to Heero's mouth. Heero blinked at the bitten apple in his hand, then hit the back of Duo's head, hard. The Deathscythe pilot winced but grinned.

They ate, Duo chattering on and on about this and that, unable to stand silence for very long. Finally, Trowa managed to carry a protesting Quatre back upstairs for a cool bath. The other three sat at the table, Wufei scanning the newspaper, Duo talking, and Heero responding every now and then with a grunt. They all silenced, though two were already basically silent, and listened as a sudden bang came from upstairs, followed by a shriek form Quatre. They were all half out of their seats to go and investigate the cause when they heard Quatre's voice.

"No, Trowa! Don't drop me, aah!" It was quiet for a moment, then was a softer thump, along with loud splashes. "Hey! No fair!" Silence, interupted by footsteps. "Trowa! Don't leave me! Tro-wah!"

Trowa appeared at the doorway a moment later, and they took in his appearance with amusement. His shoulders, neck, and face were soaking wet, water dripping from his nose and hair. he walked through the kitchen and into the laundry room, coming back a moment later with two fresh towels in his arms, indicating they had run out. Quatre whined his name again loudly and Duo snickered as Trowa left, rolling his eyes.

"Looks like they're having fun," Wufei smirked.

OOOOO

Quatre pushed his head further into the soft downy pillow. He sighed, then automatically reached up a hand to stop Trowa from getting in beside him. "You have things to do, Tro," he explained at Trowa's confused look. "You don't have to sit and watch me constantly. It's just sleeping, and you don't need any extra sleep, and I know you planned to work on Heavyarms today." Trowa scowled and Quatre knew he didn't like it. He continued. "I'll be right in here, sleeping, just sleeping. And Wufei will be reading or meditating, and Duo'll be watching TV, and Heero will be his usual paranoid self. As long as he's in the house, I'm sure I won't die or anything. Heavyarms sustained heavy damage on the last mission, I know. You have to fix it right away. Please, koi?" Trowa stared for the longest time before relenting with a sigh. He kissed Quatre deeply before slowly leaving.

Immediately, the room seemed to grow cold, as though a fire had gone out when Trowa left. Quatre shrugged the feeling off and enjoyed being clean and in fresh pajamas and in a cool bed. It was much better than sitting in a cold tub with his clothes still on and plastered to him. Trowa had no right to drop him in the tub just because Quatre had gotten him a little wet. No right at all. Quatre couldn't help laughing at the thought, though. Trowa silently fuming, hair dripping. He burrowed deeper and relaxed, willing sleep to come.

_'Dark, so dark.'_

_Rough hands throw him in, and he slides across the floor painfully, scraping his legs. He stands up and runs to the door, which slams shut and locks before he reaches it. He pounds on it, screaming. 'No! Let me out! Please, please, let me out! The door doesn't open and he slides down it, sobbing and crying in the dark. 'Don't leave me alone...please.' He begs silently now, trembling with sobs and fear. The cold is seeping through his thin clothes as he cries against the heavy steel door._

_They will come! He knows they will. They always come, come to hurt him. He withdraws from the door into the middle of the room, tucking his knees under his chin and wrapping his arms around himself. He is all alone in the cold and dark, all alone. Alone,a nd they will come and hurt him, again. Again and again and again...he does the only thing he can think of. He sings. It is a lullaby someone sang to him once...he can't remember who. He can't remember anything anymore, not since the pearl fluid is put in his blood. But it is nice and comforting, the lullaby. _

_He feels something tug at his mind and sings louder. He has to drown them out, shut them up, overwhelm them. 'Keep the whispers away. Away, away, away!' They go louder, so he goes louder, too, singing with all his might inbetween his sobs. It hurts still. 'It still hurts...they're hurting me.' He sings, crying from the pain._

_'Dark, so dark.'_

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Well, what did youthink? This is one of the first fics where I've gotten bolder in writing intimate scenes...slowly, but surely, I become a yaoi freak! Heheh! Please review!

Storm


	3. III

**Dark, So Dark**

**Sutoomu**

So, here is the third chapter for this fic. I'm sorry it took so long but my laptop connection broke again and then I procrastinated trying to fix it until I got a PM from a wonderful reviewer who persuaded me to do something about it so she could have an update and keep breathing so I went out and bought some CD-R's to transfer my fics to another computer and they were bogus so I had to buy some DVD-R's and they wouldn't work so I had to take me laptop into Staples and get them to help me so I could post some more chapters... /BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE/

So, yah...thank you to my reviewers. phoenixfirekitsune, anissa32, boinks, Maisy, Seer Vixion, AnEnigmatic Dream,Ivydoll, and SkittleGoddess. Thank you, thank you!

Like, I said /I think/ this is the firstfic I've writtenwhere the yaoi love is more graphic. Please don't flame me too bad if it absolutely sucks. Enjoy!

* * *

Trowa sat in his cockpit, checking Heavyarms statistics once more. 'There's a problem,' he marked it in his mind, wondering how he had missed it before, then realized he knew. He was worried about Quatre too much to focus on Heavyarms as much as he should. He knew there was something dark in Quatre's nightmare, and wanted to ask him about it, but had held off so Quatre could rest. He couldn't wait much longer.

As if reading Trowa's thoughts, Wufei's face appeared on screen suddenly. _'Trowa, we need you back at the safe house, now. It's Quatre again.'_

Trowa shut down Heavyarms and leapt from the cockpit to the ground. He rolled on impact to soften the fall and broke into a full out run towards the safe house showing faintly through the trees. He reached it in record time, running in. He ran upstairs to his room and was halted by Wufei and Heero.

"Listen," Heero ordered as Trowa looked by them. Quatre was sitting on the floor, knees under chin, arms around knees, and he was rocking back and forth. And singing, singing some arabian song.

"Duo found him like this a couple of minutes ago," Wufei explained, and the banged pilot saw Duo kneeling near his koi. Damn it all, he was supposed to be there! Trowa, not Duo. "He keeps rocking back and forth and singing," Wufei continued. "Every time we try to talk to him he just sings louder, drowning us out. I think he might be in some sort of trance or something."

Trowa pushed their arms off and ran to his angel, kneeling beside him. "Quatre?" he asked. "Quatre!" Quatre seemed to hesitate for a second in his rocking and singing, then continued.

"I think if he hears your voice, he'll come out of it," Duo said, and retreated, pain for the blonde tugging at his heart.

Trowa nodded and sat behind Quatre. He wrapped his arms around his love and spoke his name. Quatre, his rocking halted but Trowa's grip, tensed and sang louder. Trowa repeated Quatre's name softly into his ear over and over until Quatre's singing began quieting and slowing. "Quatre, little one," he soothed the still singing boy. "My precious angel. My koishii." He kissed Quatre's ear, and the singing stopped suddenly. "Wake up, love," he continued to whisper in Quatre's ear, the boy now still and quiet, but still huddled. Trowa knew Quatre could feel emotions, so he made sure his love was engraved in every syllable he spoke.

Quatre suddenly gasped, his eyes shooting open, his body tensing. He moved so suddenly, Trowa was startled, as the smaller boy jerked out of his grasp and scrambled backwards until he was against the wall, his eyes darting over all of them in sheer horror and fright.

"Quat!" Duo exclaimed, causing Quatre to jerk his eyes over to the long haired boy. Duo stepped forward and Quatre jerked away, to the side. Duo lightly placed a hand on Quatre's shoulder and he yelled in reaction, writhing away, right into Trowa.

Trowa grabbed Quatre's arms and kissed him deeply. He let go and Quatre fell backwards, leaning on his hands. A slow light of recognition and understanding entered the dazed eyes of the shaky pilot, and he looked around at Duo and Heero and Wufei as he touched his lips.

"Maroua," he said suddenly. "I can remember now. It's called Maroua, the song. Iria sang it to me when I was very little."

Duo suddenly couldn't control himself any more and he threw himself at Quatre with a giant bear hug, tears streaking his face. "I thought you were gonna die, Q-man," he exclaimed. Quatre hesitantly returned the hug with a still slightly bewildered gaze. He met eyes with Trowa and relaxed a bit. Duo finally released him, at Heero's touch, and Quatre crawled wearily to Trowa, exhausted.

Quatre trembled, still, as he lay in Trowa's arms. Trowa couldn't distinctly remember a time ever since last night where the blonde wasn't trembling. Same with walking. He was too tired to walk, too exhausted, by a nightmare! Trowa had felt a growing unease ever since last night, and he had to put his mind at ease, or at least try.

"Quatre," he said with a calming tone in his voice. "What is happening?" Quatre stiffened, but Trowa continued. "What's wrong? What's in the nightmares?"

"No," Quatre seemed to choke. "The voices...the voices!" He struggled, Trowa holding onto him tightly as he kicked his feet and twisted. "Go away!" Quatre yelled, his eyes shut tight, his hands pushing at his head. He suddenly moved his hand to his chest, strangling his pajama top. "Oh, Allah, it hurts. It hurts!"

"Quatre!" Trowa took Quatre's hands in his own rougher ones. "It's okay. There are no voices. It's okay. I'm here."

"It hurts, Trowa," Quatre whispered, holding his hands in a death grip. "Make it stop hurting!" Trowa felt a deep sense of despair rise up in his chest, since he knew he couldn't. Duo was sitting about a foot away, the braided pilot looking like he was going to cry. Heero met his eyes with an 'we-need-to-talk' look. Since Quatre had relaxed somewhat and was only sniffling, Trowa motioned for Duo to come closer, and he reluctantly passed him over. Quatre stiffened once more at the obvious movement, then began to relax once more as Duo began stroking his back. Trowa placed a light kiss on his koi's forehead and stood up, approaching Heero.

"What's happening to him?" Wufei asked before Heero could speak.

"Shh," Trowa warned in a whisper. "I don't know. He's never had any dreams or nightmares that have affected him in this way before, or so badly. I hoped it was just another one, only stronger, but now, I don't know."

Heero was observing Quatre as he spoke. "I believe it might be some sort of flashback, or hidden subconscious memory resurfacing. It happens a lot."

"But why now?" Wufei said. his voice betrayed his grief, his anger at not knowing how to help. Heero didn't reply right away.

"Something is hurting him through his empathy," he said "We don't know what, and he obviously can't seem to tell us. I suggest we aways have one person near him, in case he gets any more of these nightmares."

"I agree," Wufei added. "And it's probably a good idea to contact one of his sisters tommorrow and ask about this."

"Yes. That's all we can do for now. I suggest you take him to bed, Trowa."

Trowa nodded and collected his angel from Duo, who sighed in sorrow. He placed Quatre in the blankets, the arabian whimpering at the very short loss of human contact when Trowa slipped off his shirt and pants and slipped into the bed. Wufei silently slipped out of the room, followed by Heero leading Duo away. Trowa pulled Quatre close to him, noticing how he seemed to be relatively relaxed as long as someone was touching and holding him. Quatre trembled and put his hands on Trowa's bare chest, trying to get as close as possible to Trowa's comforting warmth. Trowa placed a very light kiss on Quatre's lips as he dozed off, and set his arms around the trembling but now sleeping boy.

"Koi," he whispered. "I need to understand. I don't understand why you're hurting. I want to help, but I don't know how."

A lone tear fell down Trowa's cheek.

* * *

Well, how was it/peeks head out from behind bed nervously/ Too sappy, too fluffy, too angsty, anything? I need to know, but the price is two positives for a negative...uh, just kidding. Anyhoo, I have more to post, so I'll be doing that in a while.

Storm


	4. IV

Dark, So Dark

Sutoomu

Well, this is the fourth chapter. I know this has taken forever for me to post, and my excuse is vacation. If you don't believe that, then I'm just a lazy ass. Happy? Anyhoo, this story is gonna be more chapters than I thought it would be. Oh well, that's still cool. Thanking my reviewers...

Thank you to phoenixfirekitsune, Kami Crimson, Celestia, SkittleGoddess, summersarebright, LadyMeko, and phoenix013. My love goes out to all of you.

Read on, now, and enjoy! I hope

* * *

Trowa opened his eyes as the morning sun filtered in through the window, permeating his senses and arousing them. He yawned and stretched his legs under the sheet, blinking hazily. He gently moved to sit up without waking Quatre, when the blonde's eyes shot open and focused on him in alarm.

"No, don't leave me alone!" he cried out, reaching for him. Trowa immediately stopped all intentions of getting up and lay back down, letting Quatre wrap his arms around him.

"I won't leave you, koishii," he assured Quatre, brushing back his bangs. Quatre's focus wavered in and out as he blinked at Trowa, and he shakingly reached a hand behind Trowa's neck, pulling him forward into a passionate kiss to make sure he was real. His hands roamed Trowa's body, touching his skin as he continued to kiss him, making sure Trowa was all there. Trowa let Quatre assure himself of that fact, then drew back in surprise as Quatre cursed-yes, cursed!-and sat up, pulling off his pajama shirt. Quatre threw his shirt on the floor, his pajama pants joining it a moment later, and he slipped back down, trembling and reaching for Trowa. He pressed himself against the banged pilot and held him close, skin on skin, Trowa's warmth spreading through him. Quatre sighed in relief.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" Trowa asked in confusion.

"For making the dark and the cold go away," Quatre replied. "You're making me warm."

Trowa breathed in surprise at this, then kissed Quatre forcefully, pressing his body sharply into the smaller boy's. He could help. He could keep Quatre warm. Quatre inhaled sharply at the sudden jolt that shot throughout his body and responded, melding with Trowa as Trowa trailed kisses down his neck. Quatre moaned as Trowa took his earlobe in his mouth and played with it with his tongue and teeth. Trowa's hand trailed down Quatre's chest until it reached the elastic of his boxers, and he tugged at them. Quatre ran his hands down Trowa's arms and aided him, giving him an extremely desirous kiss.

"Thank you, Trowa," Quatre whispered in a mostly awake moment as he passed in and out of half sleep.

"I love you," Trowa replied back just as softly, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"I love you, too, Trowa," Quatre said. He suddenly shook violently for a moment. "Oh, Allah, you don't know how much I love you."

"Shh, Quatre," Trowa said. "I know. It's okay."

"No, it's not," Quatre cried. "I don't know what's happening to me. I can't remember anything clearly, just the pain. It...it hurts so much!" Quatre cringed and drew his hands to his chest. Trowa took his hands in his own and held them, setting his forehead on Quatre's, their breath mingling.

"We'll get through this, love," he said. "I swear it to you. I will help you get through this."

A knock on the door distracted them, and Quatre tried to shrink into the blankets and hide at the sudden noise. "You awake in there?" Duo's voice came through.

"If we weren't awake, we are now," Trowa replied loud enough so Duo could hear.

"You guys both okay?" Duo ignored Trowa's tone. Trowa informed Duo they were fine. "Heero said to tell you Iria will be here in an hour and a half. Heero said she could answer our questions."

"Iria," Quatre whispered. "My sister."

"We'll get ready," Trowa said, and he heard Duo walk away. Trowa got out of bed, and Quatre called out his name instantly, reaching for him again. Trowa took Quatre in his arms and carried him to the washroom. Soon the bath was full and Trowa set Quatre in it, then joined him. He began to wash the effects of this morning off Quatre, who kept jerking his head at slight noises and staring in utter fear at everything. Quatre latched his hand onto Trowa's and wouldn't let go until Trowa got out of the bath and had to make him let go so he could dry himself. Quatre did not take his eyes off Trowa once while Trowa wasn't in direct contact with him, and he whimpered softly until Trowa lifted him out of the tub and dried him off. Trowa helped dress him, Quatre calling his name every time he wasn't touching him. As soon as they were dressed, Trowa lifted Quatre in his arms and carried him out the door and down the stairs.

"Trowa, is that you?" Wufei's voice carried out into the hall from the livingroom, and Trowa headed in that direction. He saw Wufei sitting on the couch, reading a book. Wufei caught sight of him, and, more importantly, the boy in his arms. "Quatre. Are you feeling okay?"

Quatre stared at Wufei for a moment, and spoke hesitantly. "I...yes, I'm okay. It's cold, though...and dark." Quatre closed his eyes and began trembling a bit more. Wufei met Trowa's eyes in confusion, since it was summer and a very sunny day.

"Could you do me a favor, Wufei?" Trowa asked.

"Anything," Wufei quickly said.

"Can you take him for me? I have to grab some food, and I can't do that while holding him," Trowa said, lowering Quatre onto Wufei's lap. Quatre's eyes shot open and he called out Trowa's name, reaching for him. Trowa brushed his hair out of his face, and gave him a small kiss. "I'll be right back, koi," he explained to Quatre. "Wufei's going to take you for a little bit. I'll be right back. Just hold onto Wufei, okay?"

Quatre swallowed. "O-okay, Tr-trowa," he said and his hand reached for Wufei's shirt, grabbing a fistful and latching onto it with a death grip.

Wufei looked at Trowa. "What do I do?"

"Just hold him. Make sure he knows you're there, and that you're real. Be there for him. He needs constant contact and warmth. Talk to him, if you can," Trowa stood up straight and left the room.

Wufei sat awkwardly with Quatre for a moment, then Quatre shifted into a more comfortable curled up position and set his head on Wufei's chest, one hand still holding his shirt. Quatre grabbed Wufei's hand tightly with his other hand and he moved his thumb up and down Wufei's skin, his eyes darting about wildly. Wufei returned Quatre's handhold after a moment and curled his other hand around Quatre's back, bringing the book up in front of him. He had never held anyone other than Meiran before, and he didn't quite know what to do.

"This is a very good book," he said, trying to just randomly start a conversation like Duo could. "I don't know if you've read it or not, but I just bought it a few days ago. I know you've read a lot of books, almost as many as me, but you haven't read this one yet, I don't think. It's about a boy our age, who's being forced to kill people because of a chip some scientists installed in his spinal cord. They send him on an undercover mission to infiltrate a group of young elite soldiers, just like us, but he becomes such good friends with them, and even falls in love with one of them, that he can't kill them like he's supposed to. I haven't found out whether the scientists kill him or not, since I'm not that far yet. But it's good so far." (author's note: this is an actual story I am writing, a non-fanfiction)

"What's his name?" Quatre whispered, staring at the book.

"Reyin," Wufei answered.

"What's her name?" Quatre asked. "The girl he falls in love with."

"Jaze."

"Reyin and Jaze," Quatre repeated, closing his eyes. Wufei shifted and Quatre opened his eyes quickly and called out in a scared voice. "Wufei? Wufei, don't leave me!"

Wufei set his book down quickly and wrapped his arms around Quatre, hushing him softly. "I'm here, Quatre. I'm not leaving you. It's okay."

"It's so dark and cold," Quatre cried. His trembling increased immensely. "Wufei, it hurts..."

"Here." Wufei looked up at Trowa as the banged pilot set the plate of crackers and cheese on the table and reached for Quatre. Wufei released the arabian into Trowa's arms, and the Heavyarms pilot placed a firm kiss on Quatre's lips. Quatre kissed back and Trowa sat down beside the confused chinese boy. Quatre pressed into Trowa as much he could in this sitting position and Trowa kissed him again. The blonde gave a shaky breath and relaxed in Trowa's lap as he held him tightly with one arm and then pointed at the plate. Wufei understood and picked it up, bringing it within Trowa's easy reach with his one arm.

"I have some food for you, Quatre," Trowa said. "Here, try it." Trowa held a cracker up to Quatre's mouth. Quatre looked warily at it, then opened his mouth and accepted it. He chewed slowly, then swallowed and reached for the plate. Wufei handed it to him, and Quatre began to eat the cheese and cracker snack eagerly. He finished off the plate and looked down at it sadly.

"I'm hungry," he said, looking up at Trowa. "And thirsty. Do we have any chocolate milk left?"

"I'll check," Wufei stood up. "And I'll get Duo to make you a proper lunch. I'm not going to risk you getting food poisoning off my cooking."

"You cook just fine," Quatre mentioned. "I like your bacon." Wufei smiled at him and left.

"Do you feel very hungry and thirsty?" Trowa asked.

Quatre nodded. "And cold and dark. Trowa?"

"Yes?"

"I want to touch you, please," Quatre's voice wavered. "I want to be warm."

"We can't do anything more than take our shirts off," Trowa commanded. "Iria is coming."

"That's enough," Quatre begged, pulling at Trowa's shirt. Trowa agreed, and he helped Quatre with his shirt and Quatre's own shirt. Quatre sighed in relief and leaned forward to kiss Trowa, their skin brushing against the others. Quatre turned and pressed his back into Trowa's front, feeling warmth from their skin to skin connection spreading through him as Trowa breathed deeply. He sat like that, simply soaking in Trowa's warmth and comfort.

"Hiya, guys," Duo's voice came to their ears before they looked and saw him, carrying two plates of food. "I really hope I didn't interrupt anything, but your food is done, and look," he pointed behind him at Wufei. "Wuffles has even got a nice big glass of chocolate milk for you. The last bit." Quatre stared unblinking at Duo.

"Come here, Duo," Trowa instructed. "He has to know you're real." Duo came up and reached out his hand like Trowa told him to. Quatre hesitated but eventually reached his own hand out and grabbed Duo's. He moved his hands up and touched Duo's face, the braided boy grinning like mad, then moved his hands around to find Duo's braid. He located it and, smiling slyly, gave it a sharp tug.

"His name is Wufei, Duo," Quatre smiled, and took a plate from his other hand. He began to eat the delicious sandwiches heartily.

"It's nice to know someone finally agrees with me," Wufei huffed, handing Trowa the plate that Duo had set down for him to eat. Duo laughed happily, then fell down beside Quatre and Trowa.

"So how you guys doing? Have a nice sleep?" he asked.

"Pleasant enough," Trowa nuzzled Quatre's neck, and he giggled. The doorbell suddenly rang and Quatre jerked in sudden fear. "It's just the doorbell, relax," Trowa assured him. "It's probably Iria."

"Iria?" Quatre relaxed. "Iria..." A moment later Iria was led into the livingroom by Heero, who checked Quatre over quickly with his eyes and labeled him relatively okay. Iria rushed forward and sat on the other side of Quatre and Trowa, and Quatre instinctively shyed away from her.

"Quatre, are you alright?" she asked. "Little brother?" She ran a hand through Quatre's hair lovingly and Quatre closed his eyes, leaning into her hand.

"He's okay," Trowa informed her. "He can think and talk. He's alright."

"He's alright...," Quatre repeated Trowa.

Iria brushed his hair for another moment, then stood up. "I need to talk to you," she said directly to Trowa.

Trowa nodded and turned to Duo. "You have to take him while the three of us talk with Iria," he said. "We'll tell you after, because I can't leave him alone."

"Wait a second, hold on," Duo said. "Take him? You mean, like, hold him?" Trowa nodded. Duo blinked at him, then looked over at Heero. "Hee-chan?"

"He needs you, Duo," Heero nodded. "Go ahead."

"Thanks, 'Ro," Duo smiled. "I love you."

"Love you, too," Heero murmured back with a small smile.

"Quatre, I have to leave again," Trowa said, and Quatre protested sharply, breathing heavily. "I'm going to talk to Iria, and then I'll be back for you. Duo is going to hold you and talk to you. Just like Wufei did, okay? Just hold onto Duo." He placed a deep kiss on Quatre's lips, then shifted him over onto Duo's lap. Quatre let go of Trowa and latched his arms around Duo's neck quickly, curling into a small ball. Duo held him and smiled at him as Trowa slipped his shirt on and they were left alone.

"Hey, Q," Duo chuckled. "Guess what? I think I fully believe Heero loves me now."

Quatre pulled his head away from Duo's chest to look at him. "You do? Finally?"

"Finally," Duo sighed. "He was just so 'perfect soldier' like in the beginning, it was hard to tell. But now...well, I'm seeing inside him, more clearly then I ever have."

"I told you so," Quatre gloated, laying his head back down.

"Oh, c'mon," Duo snorted. "You could've been wrong."

"I'm an empath and I'm Quatre," Quatre stated firmly. "I'm not wrong when concerning these things."

"Confident little blonde, aren't you?" Duo laughed.

"No...," Quatre suddenly said. "I'm not confident. I'm scared. Scared...scared to death!"

"Don't say it like that," Duo protested. "And it's natural to be scared. If you weren't scared, I'd start worrying you'd turned into an evil cyborg bent on wreaking havoc in the communications world."

There was a pause, then Quatre chuckled. "That," he emphasized. "Was very random."

"Why thank you, Q-bean," Duo smiled, happy he had made Quatre feel better. "I try my best."

"What's wrong with him?" Heero asked as soon as they sat down in the kitchen.

"I don't know," Trowa replied. "But ever since we woke up, he doesn't want to let go of me. He panics when he's not in contact with someone."

"This is not good," Wufei frowned. He looked up at Iria. "Do you know why this is happening?"

Iria avoided their eyes and gazed at the table, thinking of how to phrase her next words. "Yes, I do. We've been expecting this to happen for seven years now, since Quatre was eight years old."

"Who is we?" Wufei asked.

"Myself and two other sisters, and father when he was alive," Iria replied.

"You've been expecting what to happen?" Trowa said.

"The memories to resurface. We knew it would happen, but," Iria frowned. "I didn't think it would be so soon."

"What memories?" Heero queried.

"The memories of what happened to him when he was little, of what was done to him," Iria said, pain flashing in her eyes. "The memories of how they discovered his empathy and hurt him."

* * *

What happened to Quatre when he was younger? How was he hurt? Did you like this story? Do I like chocolate milk?

Find out in the next chapter of...DARK, SO DARK! Please review!

Storm


	5. V

Dark, So Dark

Sutoomu

Well, I got a lot of complaints about a major cliffhanger with the last chapter, so here it is. I thought I better post it quickly. Save my hide and all. Anyways, this is what happened to Q-Q! So SAD!

Thankies and huggies go to Kami Crimson, phoenixfirekitsune, Celestia, SkittleGoddess, phoenix013! WOOT!

By the way, I ADORE CHOCOLATE MILK!

* * *

"The memories of what happened to him when he was little, of what was done to him," Iria said, pain flashing in her eyes. "The memories of how they discovered his empathy and hurt him."

"Hurt him?" Trowa's voice shook.

"My two sisters and I have kept this secret at father's request, and I'm going to tell it to you now," Iria inhaled. "As you should know, Quatre is the only true child and son of the family. After he was born, father naturally hid him away, to protect him from those who would want to use him against father."

"Ransom," Wufei murmured.

"Ransom as well as using Quatre to change things," Iria continued. "Business is full of secret twists and turns nowadays. There are so many channels of deceit and rebellion, father couldn't find them all. So we kept Quatre hidden. The world was oblivious to the fact that he was alive. At least, that's what we thought.

It's well known that gifts such as empathy are usually passed on from parents, and our mother, Quaterine, is how Quatre got his empathy. We didn't know about Quatre's gift, but someone knew about mother's, and somehow they learned of the birth of Quatre, true heir to the Winner household. They took a chance with Quatre. Gifts such as Quatre's are extremely rare, and, if known about, they can be taken and twisted to be a curse and a powerful weapon instead of a gift. That's what these people did to Quatre. They managed to take Quatre away from us," Iria paused, breathing deeply to calm her emotions down. "We searched for Quatre, using all our resources. Father almost tore the business apart in the search. And then he was found in the basement of a base that had been attacked above and destroyed. He was broken..." Iria swallowed, wiping her tears away with her hands. They were instantly replaced by new ones, silent ones. Iria took a deep breath and continued.

"He was locked in an empty cold steel room, with a heavy steel door. There was no light or warmth inside. He hadn't eaten or drank in four days, and the soldiers found him curled in a fetal position on the floor, his eyes lifeless and staring at nothing, his mouth whispering something they couldn't hear. When a soldier touched him to see if he was alive, he screamed. In that instant, that soldier's soul was ripped apart, and he died. Quatre accidentally killed him. Two more shoulders died when they touched Quatre, and then no one else dared to touch him after that. They finally had to tranquilize him in order to move him and take care of him.

We learned that Quatre had been experimented on. The men who took him had pumped drugs into him, to make his forget his life, to slow down his physical reaction time, and to heighten his empathic senses. They had poeple killed in front of him to see how he reacted. You all know that Quatre's heart hurts very much when people died now. It was ten times worse back then. They nearly killed him, and only the drugs kept him alive. They locked Quatre in that room he was found in for days at a time, whenever they weren't working on him, leaving him alone and cold. They made it so Quatre could kill someone by shattering their souls with his empathy, and every time Quatre did that, it hurt him even more. They mentally and emotionally tortured him, and physically starved him of warmth and light, food and water. And they did this for four years, since he was just a little boy, four years old.

I don't have to say how traumatized Quatre was, inside and out. He didn't acknowledge anyone's presence in the hospital, and he was constantly trembling and crying out about voices and how it was hurting him. We tried to make him know he was safe now, to show him, but he couldn't even feel us, I don't think. He was locked in his mind, a dark cold place full of pain and death. We tried to help him for two months, and father finally had to make a decision. He decided to give Quatre a heavy drug that would repress those memories and release him. It worked, and Quatre came back to us, though confused and scared of the dark and knowing about his empathic abilities now. We never told him about what had happened to him, for fear it would shock the memories back and we would lose him again. The drug was assured to work for ten years. We planned to reveal his memories to Quatre when he was eighteen through a counter-drug, an antitode drug. I don't know how or why these memories would be resurfacing on their own this early." She stopped, rubbing her temples with her forefingers. "It's not supposed to happen yet. He's not ready."

"That's why he's says its cold and dark," Wufei whispered. "That's...unbelievable..." But the look in Wufei's eyes proved he believed it.

"Can't we just re-administer the memory repressant drug?" Heero asked.

"If you use the drug more than once on one person, they'll die," Iria sighed. "Besides, it was outlawed two years after it was given to Quatre and completely destroyed."

"What can we do, then?" Wufei asked desperately.

"There are only two options," Iria concluded for them. "We can give him the antidote drug early, and hope he can handle it at fifteen, or we can let him remember it himself, slowly. Either way, it will be very painful for Quatre."

"Which way do you suggest?" Heero asked.

"I...I really don't know," she looked at them with a great deal of focus. "I, myself, believe that you three and Duo should choose what to do. You're closer to him than I am right now, and I couldn't tell which way Quatre would prefer. I believe you should make the desicion."

"Thank you," Heero nodded solemnly.

"Trowa, are you alright?" Wufei asked, touching the tall boy's shoulder.

"No," Trowa croaked, trying to breathe calmly. He closed his eyes and tried to relax, tried to remain detached, but he couldn't and he shuddered. "Oh my god..." Trowa set his head in his hands and swallowed. "I can't...oh my god. My koi..."

"You should go to him," Iria said. "I have to go right away. I still have work, and there's nothing I can do until you decided. Besides, I...I'm not sure if I can watch him like this. You know how to reach me." She stood and walked to the kitchen door, then paused. "Oh, and be careful what you say around Quatre. Anything could trigger some memory, and hurt him. Give him all my love," she finished and left, letting herself out the door as the boys pondered what they had heard. Wufei stood up and helped Trowa get his senses around him enough to stand.

"You have to be strong, Trowa," Heero said firmly. "For Quatre's sake, please be strong." Trowa nodded and the three of them headed back to the livingroom, where Duo was chuckling and Quatre was smiling happily. Duo caught sight of the look on their faces and his grin faded into a look of worry.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Heero put his finger to his lips to shush Duo as Trowa came forward and took his koi, who had looked at them come in with confusion on his face. Quatre recognized the feel of Trowa, and he hugged him as Wufei and Heero pulled Duo out of the room to explain what they knew. Trowa sat onto the couch with Quatre held very tightly in his arms, and he drew his hands across Quatre's skin, tasting him before burying his face in Quatre's chest.

"Trowa?" Quatre whispered after a moment. "What's wrong?" Trowa's hand paused momentarily, then continued as he didn't answer. "I can feel it, Trowa," Quatre persisted. "You're sad. Why?"

Trowa avoided the question. "I love you, Quatre, with all my heart. Remember that I love you and I'm here for you."

"I know, Trowa," Quatre replied, kissing him. He drew his tongue across Trowa's jawline to his earlobe and played with it. Quatre nuzzled him in the neck, then suddenly cringed as Duo's voice came shouting form the hallway.

"What the fuck!" Duo faint voice came through. "Are you fucking serious?" There was a pause, and Trowa imagined Heero and Wufei trying to calm him down. "Oh my god! Those fuckin' bastards!" Something smashed into the wall and Quatre whimpered, huddling into Trowa. "How the hell could they do that to him!" Quatre's voice broke through in a small sob, and Trowa could just imagine Duo's anger and rage adding to the pain and sorrow Quatre was feeling from Trowa.

"Trowa!" Heero's voice was heard, with a note of urgency. Trowa stood up, then paused, wondering what to do. Heero and Wufei obviously needed his help with Duo, but Trowa couldn't just bring Quatre in and let him see Duo or Duo see him right now.

"Quatre, I have to leave you alone for a moment," Trowa said.

Quatre's eyes widened. "No, Trowa! Don't leave me!"

"Shh, Quatre, listen to me," Trowa whispered, laying Quatre on the couch and holding his hands. "I have to go and help Duo. I'll only be a short minute or two. I need you to be brave and stay here, so I can help Duo. Okay, koi?"

"Help...Duo...," Quatre's eyes darted around.

"I promise I'll come back," Trowa said. "I'll be back for you, and I'll hold you and kiss you and love you. I swear it. I'll be right back, remember." And he pulled away from Quatre and reluctantly left the room as Quatre cried his name once.

Trowa passed the glass shards which had been broken against the wall and found Heero trying to stop and Wufei trying to talk to Duo. Duo was slamming a fist into the wall repeatedly, throwing Heero's restraining arm off anytime he touched him. His knuckles were raw and bleeding, and the wall was most definitely dented.

"Duo, stop," Trowa ordered. "You're scaring Quatre." Duo's fist hesitated, and he stared at the wall, breathing heavily. A second later he had sunk to his knees and was holding his gut, sobbing uncontrollably. Heero gathered him in his arms and held him as he sobbed.

"Oh, god, Heero," Duo asked. "How could they do that to him?"

"I don't know, Duo," Heero looked at the floor.

"Where is he?" Wufei asked.

"I had to leave him in the livingroom," Trowa said. "I couldn't let him see Duo like this."

"You left him alone?" Duo's eyes widened. "Because of me?"

"You needed my help," Trowa replied. "Quatre would want me to leave him alone for a few moments in order to help you."

"Well, go back to him!" Duo yelled.

"Are you okay, now?"

"Fuck, no! But I don't want to cause him any more pain by taking you away from him. He needs you more than I ever would, Trowa," Duo said.

"Quatre wouldn't want me to let you kill yourself out of anger," Trowa replied. "I'll go back to him when you're thinking sanely." Duo blinked at the firm and scolding tone in Trowa's voice. "I expected better of you, Duo. You can't let yourself fall apart over this. It's like Heero said. We have to stay strong for Quatre's sake."

"Can you do that for us, Duo?" Wufei asked. Duo looked at all of them, shaking with silent sobs, and then he breathed and nodded, blowing it all out.

"I'm sorry, guys," he croaked. "It just hurts to think of them doing that to Quatre."

"I know, koishii, I know," Heero whispered. "But it's over, and we're going to help Quatre through this. And then we can all go out for ice cream in the park, just like you always suggest."

"Thanks, Hee-chan," Duo embraced Heero's warmth. He looked at Trowa. "I'm okay, now. Please, go back to Quatre."

Trowa nodded and headed back for the livingroom, Wufei following. They stepped in and saw Quatre tembling on the couch with his eyes closed, muttering. Trowa gently set his hand on Quatre's shoulder and spoke. "Quatre."

Quatre's withdrew sharply from Trowa's touch, holding his hands over his ears with his eyes clenched shut. "Go away!"

"Quatre, koi, it's okay," Trowa soothed. "I'm back, just like I said I would be. It's okay." He reached his hand out and brushed Quatre's face. At the contact, Quatre's eyes focused on Trowa's face and he swallowed.

"Trow-wa," he cried, leaning forward and hugging Trowa fiercely. "You left me."

"I had to, koi," Trowa explained. "But I came back, just like I said."

Quatre trembled violently in Trowa's arms. "I'm s-so c-cold," he sobbed. "W-warm m-me, please, T-trowa."

Trowa understood what Quatre wanted and looked at Wufei's concern filled eyes. "I'm going to take him to bed." Wufei nodded and Trowa gathered Quatre up in his arms, carrying him out. Duo and Heero were upstairs at their door, and Trowa nodded reassuringly at Duo down the hall as he entered his own room and locked the door.

The moment the door was closed, Quatre attacked his lips violently, pulling at Trowa's shirt. Trowa accepted the kisses with half his attention, trying to find the bed. He laid Quatre down on it and Quatre whined at the split second loss of close contact. Quatre's fingers closed around Trowa's shirt bottom and he pulled up, Trowa helping him. Quatre ran his hands up and down his bare chest as Trowa held himself up on top of Quatre. Quatre breathed and the blonde shifted downwards slowly, his warm breath trailing down Trowa's chest and belly. He stopped at Trowa's jeans, and set his forehead against the skin right under Trowa's navel, kissing it. Trowa breathed heavily, caught by the desire in his body. He matched Quatre level with him and slipped his own hands down Quatre's chest, unbuttoning Quatre's pants and sliding them down off his hips. Quatre growled in his throat and fumbled with Trowa's jeans, and Trowa helped him slip the heavy pants off his legs. Quatre moaned longingly as Trowa shifted and kissed his neck lightly. He pressed his thighs into Trowa's, closing any distance between them, and shuddered, pushing at Trowa's boxers.

"P-please, Trowa," Quatre whispered desperately, the craving and desire dripping from his breathy voice. "W-warm me. I w-want you, now."

Trowa slipped his fingers around the elastic of Quatre's boxers and nudged them downwards, kissing Quatre intensely, sweeping his tongue into the blonde's mouth and exploring all the crevices, reveling in Quatre's intoxicating taste. Quatre moaned in pleasure as Trowa spoke. "I'm all yours, Quatre."

* * *

Well, there you go. Now it's getting a bit more descriptive, but I hope it's still cute.Review!

Storm


	6. VI

**Dark, So Dark**

**Sutoomu**

Let's start with my thank you to reviewers. They would be phoenixfirekitsune, SkittleGoddess, silver-eyed, Amethyst Shadow, MousyCoon, SeerVixion, and Islena. I love you all so much, ya!

As to this story. It's being updated because of guilt. My conscience is beating me up for making everyone always wait forever for more updates, even when I can and say I'll update more. I'll just say that my life is hard to figure out and I suck at organizing things. I shall try to make time for FF . net, and for writing. Anyhoo, this is the sixth chapter for everyone, so read it and enjoy, I hope.

* * *

"No shirts again, I see?" Duo smirked, his eyes betraying what his body kept well hidden. Fear, and vexation, and uneasiness.

"Skin to skin contact helps, and Quatre says he doesn't want to wear jeans," Trowa replied simply as he collapsed into a comfy chair, Quatre opening his eyes, startled at the sudden drop. Both of them were missing tops, with fresh pajama pants on. Quatre blinked and looked around, seeing they were in the livingroom again. His eyes met Duo's, and he smiled.

"What's for breakfast?" he asked.

"What would ya like?" Duo offered, grinning.

"Cereal," he replied after a moment's thought. "The kind you always have. The one with all the colored 'O's and sugar."

"Absolutely," Duo stood and left the livingroom, the TV still on the morning cartoons. Quatre fixed his gaze on it and watched it curiously.

"Trowa, Quatre," Heero nodded good morning at them as he came in. "How are you feeling today?"

"Wonderful," Trowa replied.

"I feel like playing violin,' Quatre said. "Or having tea. Or playing chess."

"Well, you sound a lot like your usual self," Wufei chuckled, appearing with a steaming cup of coffee in his hands.

"I feel good today," Quatre said brightly.

"A much better day, so far," Trowa judged.

"And it just got better," Quatre sat up as Duo came in with the cereal bag, a bowl and spoon, and milk. Quatre poured his own cereal and gave it a generous helping of milk, then began to eat while watching the cartoons.

"Can we talk?" Heero asked Trowa. Trowa nodded and took Quatre's cereal bowl, setting it down on the table so it didn't spill as he lifted Quatre, slipped out from under him, and set him down on the chair alone. Quatre's hand gripped the spoon tightly as Trowa gave him a parting kiss and then stood apart from him. Quatre watched him walk to the door, then took his gaze off Trowa and fixated it determinedly on the TV, mechanically eating. Heero and Wufei walked out into the hall, and Trowa gestured for Duo to follow him, the braided boy's gaze locked nervously on Quatre.

"Doesn't someone have to watch him?" Duo whispered.

Trowa shook his head. "He's doing extremely good today. I already left him alone for a while this morning when we woke up, and he was okay. Come. This desicion involves you as well."

Duo opened his mouth to protest but Heero appeared, grabbing Duo's shirt and hauling him into the hall. The four of them stood a bit down the hall, the livingroom door open enough so they would hear if anything was wrong, but not enough so Quatre would hear them.

"We have to decide soon which way we want to deal with this," Wufei stated. "Do we give him the antidote drug or wait for the memories to come out themselves?"

"This is a hard desicion," Heero said. "Either way, Quatre will get hurt."

"He's hurting now, though, and if we wait, I'm afraid the pain will only get stronger and more dominant in him," Trowa said. "If we give him the drug, then at least it will all happen at once, instead of painfully slow over a long time."

"But then there's the chance it will push him back into a coma in his mind," Heero said. "And we cannot give him another dose of the memory suppresant drug because it would kill him. There is no way to know if we'll be able to pull him out of that coma. He might end up like that forever."

"How the hell are we expected to make this decision?" Duo groaned, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. "We're expected to choose how we want to hurt our friend? We're expected to cause him pain?"

"I have to agree with Duo," Wufei said. "If we let his memories come back on their own, he will have to deal with the pain as he is now or perhaps even worse for an unknown amount of time. And if we give him the antitode drug, it might close him off in his mind as Heero said."

"Ultimately, this desicion should be Quatre's," Heero declared calmly.

"That makes sense," Duo agreed jovially, then sneered. "Oh, but wait! If we ask Quatre, he'll go insane!" Heero glared at Duo sharply, and Duo sighed. "I'm sorry for snapping, Hee-chan. God, I'm just so angry!" He slammed his fist against the floor. It hit with a 'thump', followed by Quatre's scream. Duo scrambled to his feet and followed the others into the livingroom. He inhaled sharply.

Quatre was clutching his head tightly with his hands, pressing in. His eyes were clenched shut and he was screaming. The little blonde was pushing himself into the back of the chair extremely hard, trying to escape something unseen as he trembled violently and cried.

"Quatre, no!"

_'Dark, so dark.'_

_The doors open, and a man walks in. The man's hand grabs him roughly, pulling him upwards. He cries as his skin is pinched and the man drags him across the room and out the door. The sudden light blinds him and he blinks dizzily, passing out sometime as he is dragged. The next thing he knows is a chair, a soft, comfortable chair, and his tears stop as the soft fabric warms him and comforts him._

_Someone screams, and his eyes open and focus on a girl to the side. She looks familiar. She, too, is sitting on a chair, but it is a cold metal one, and ropes are wrapped around her arms and legs. Tears are streaking down her cheeks, and she is calling out something. He stares at her and listens as she cries out. "Mommie!" Someone says something back to her, says her name. Her name is Kadiri. He thinks it is a pretty name._

_Someone lands heavily in front of him, and he looks to see someone he knows. The black haired woman kneeling on the floor is Nishi. She brought him food. She was nice. He smiles at her, then his smile fades as Nishi's tear filled eyes meet his. He doesn't understand. Why is she sad? Why is she crying? What is happening?_

_"Quatre...," Nishi smiles sorrowfully at him, then jerks and slumps over as the bullet enters her head. Kadiri screams and struggles, sobbing._

_He sits in the soft chair and stares at Nishi lying on the floor, her skull shattered on the side, her blood and brains spilt on the floor. His hands grip the chair arms tightly as he swallows, then begins to breathe heavily. 'Nishi...dead...dead, dead, dead, dead!' His mind screams at him. Pain! She hurts! Kadiri hurts! It all hurts! He inhales deeply and screams, his soul tearing apart. He claws at his chest, trying to stop the pain. It's burning him, ripping him, breaking him! It hurts so bad! Allah help him, it hurts. It is searing him._

_His hands fly up to his head and he presses, trying to get them out! He screams and screams and screams, the voices stabbing him, the pain washing over him, battering him relentlessly._

_"Nishi!" he screams, convulsing and then collapsing in the chair weakly, the light fading. Tears leak from his eyes._

_'Dark, so dark.' _

"Is he okay?" Duo asked as soon as Iria stepped into the room. She had been called over right after Quatre had collapsed, and had been treating the blonde for a good hour while everyone was forced to wait outside.

"He's okay," Iria replied. "There's no physical damage. As to emotionally...we won't know until he wakes up."

"When will that be?" Heero asked.

"It should be within the next twenty four hours," Iria said. "When exactly, I don't know. He could wake up in an hour or twenty hours, I can't tell for sure. But I do know that someone should be there when he wakes up."

"I don't think any of us are going to be willing to leave him," Wufei sighed, holding his head in his hands.

"Someone is going to have to, though," Iria said.

"What do you mean?" Heero asked.

"I don't have the antitode drug," Iria sighed. "When I left yesterday, I went through father's records in order to find where the antidote drug had been kept. I couldn't find it, and my two sisters don't know where it is. Only father knew where it was, and he's dead."

"You mean we have to let the memories resurface on their own?" Trowa asked.

"No, not exactly. According to father's will, the antidote drug was passed on to someone, a young girl named Kadiri Doreine. I don't know why father gave it to her, but she's the only one who knows where Quatre's antidote drug is."

"And where is she?" Duo asked.

"I don't know," Iria sat forward. "I couldn't find her. I was hoping you could be able to locate her and get the drug."

"Kadiri Doreine?" Heero asked and Iria nodded. Heero pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning on and headed for the door. "I'll find her." He dissapeared and they heard him running up the stairs, destined for his desk and labtop.

"Are we allowed to see him?" Duo asked Iria.

"Yes, you can," Iria said. "I...I have to leave. I've done all I can for him, and I know my being here is risking your safety. And I...I don't want to see him like this." Wufei nodded in understanding and stood, showing her to the door.

"Thank you, Wufei," Iria said as she stood outside the safe house door. "For being Quatre's friend. I know you will all take care of him. Call me if anything happens." She turned and stepped into her car. And Iria managed to make it all the way home before her mask fell, and she collapsed, sobbing for the pain her little brother was in.

"I've found her." Three heads turned to see Heero standing in the doorway, a paper in his hand. He lifted it and read off a brief summary of the girl. "Kadiri Doreine, sixteen years old, born August 19th, orphaned at age eight, adopted by her uncle at age ten, no siblings...," he looked up and paused. "I'm going to get her. Who's coming with? Duo or Wufei?"

"I'll come," Wufei stood, holding up a hand to stop any of Duo's protests. "You're in no condition to go anywhere." Duo glared at Wufei, then sighed and nodded, his head dropping back onto his knees, and he returned to staring at Quatre's still form on the bed.

"She only lives an hour away from here," Heero explained as they walked outside and stepped into the car. "We'll have the antidote drug soon."

"We still have to decide whether to use it or not," Wufei said.

Heero paused in his starting of the car and stared at the steering wheel. "I know."

The car ride was uneventful, as neither of them felt like talking. Wufei set himself in a relaxed state and rested for the entire trip while Heero paid attention to driving. Finally, after exactly sixty seven minutes of driving according to Heero, they arrived at a small white house. Stepping out, the two of them walked up to the door and rang the bell.

"Is this the Doreine residence?" Wufei asked as a man opened the door.

"That it is," the man, who was somewhat stocky and balding with laughing eyes, replied. "Which one do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"Two young teenagers are at my door," the man said. "Obviously your here for one o' the kids. So, you want Kaine, Damien, Kadiri, or Lorina?"

"We're here for Kadiri," Wufei explained.

"Kadi!" the man turned and called up the stairs that were visible through the door. "There's two guys here for you!" There was the faint sound of footsteps and then a girl came running down the stairs. She paused in front of the door and turned deep grey eyes on them.

"Thanks, uncle," Kadiri waved the old man away. Once he was gone and the three were left alone in the entrance, Kadiri turned her gaze back on them. "I don't know you guys, do I? Do you go to my school?"

Wufei blinked. "No, we don't. We've never met each other before."

"Oh," Kadiri said. "Well?"

"We need the antidote drug," Heero said. Kadiri's eyes snapped from Wufei to Heero, and her mouth opened.

"We were told that you're the only one who knows where Quatre Raberba Winner's antidote drug is," Wufei explained. "We need it."

"Who are you?" Kadiri asked angrily, her smooth face frowning.

"We're friends of Quatre's," Wufei said. "I'm Wufei Chang, and this is Heero Yuy. Quatre's memories have started to come back, and we need the antidote drug. Zayeed Winner's will says it was passed onto you. Is this true? Do you have it?"

"You know Quatre?" Kadiri asked, and they nodded. Her brows furrowed in thought, and then she opened her mouth to say something else, hesitating. "I...I don't have the antidote," she said. "But I know where it is, and I'm the only one who can get it. I'll give it to you, on one condition."

"Which is?" Heero frowned.

"You have to take me to see Quatre."

* * *

A reunion with Kadiri! The little girl whose mother was killed to torture Quatre. Poor little kids. I'm so cruel. It's a good thing I can't stand sad endings, huh?

What did ya think of the sixth chapter? I still have one chapter written and ready, waiting to be posted, so review!

Storm


	7. VII

**Dark, So Dark**

**Sutoomu**

Hey, here is the next chap for Dark, So Dark, my lovely Quatre angst fic. I'm thankful to Kami-Crimson, silver-eyed, phoenixfirekitsune, SkittleGoddess, and Amethyst Shadow, my reviewers, and I really have nothing to say about this fic, so I'll just let you read it.

* * *

"What?" Wufei protested.

"You don't get the antidote until I get to see Quatre. It's not up for negotiation!"

Heero growled under his breath, then nodded. "Fine. You have ten minutes to grab what you need."

"Right!" Kadiri said. She ran upstairs and returned four minutes later with a backpack slung over her shoulder. "Uncle Jesse, I'm going out! I'll call you!"

"Fine, kid," the stocky man called back, and Kadiri stepped outside and closed the door.

"Let's go."

"Trowa, he's waking up," Duo said, catching the dozing boy's attention. Trowa quickly stood up from his seat and made his way to Quatre's side. The smaller boy's eyes were open, and he was staring straight up at the ceiling blankly.

"Quatre?" Trowa asked, setting his hand on Quatre's arm. Quatre's eyes slowly moved to look at Trowa, and Trowa saw that the aqualline blue orbs were filled with just now falling tears.

Quatre swallowed, then spoke. "T-trowa? It hurts, Trowa..."

"I know, little one, I know," Trowa said sadly, brushing a hand across Quatre's hair.

"Don't worry, Q," Duo said, taking Quatre' hand. "We're here for you. We're all here for you, 'kay?"

Quatre gripped Duo's hand back and a sob shook his body. "They k-killed her..."

"Killed who?" Duo asked.

"N-nishi!" Quatre cried, his free hand coming up to clutch at his chest. "They killed Nishi! Allah help me...th-they shot h-her! I-it hurts!" Quatre's hand clawed at his chest, and Trowa grabbed it with his own, holding it tightly.

"It's okay, koi," he whispered, setting his forehead on Quatre's. "We're here. It's okay, you're safe."

"Don't you worry, Q," Duo assured him, tears streaking his own face at seeing Quatre hurting so. "You're gonna get through this. And then we're gonna go eat ice cream and climb trees with Trowa, and I'll even drink tea with you, even though I think it's awful stuff."

Quatre laughed, and it was interrupted by a cough. His chest heaved violently for a moment, then he fell back into the bed, his grip tight. He breathed deeply there, holding onto Duo and Trowa's hands tightly, trembling. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out. "It's c-cold, and d-dark...and I'm hungry!" he croaked, and Duo laughed, wiping at his eyes.

"C'mon, Q-bean," Duo suggested. "Tro-man'll hold you and I'll make you some food fit for a king. Or an arabian prince."

Duo let go of Quatre's hand so he could wrap his arms around Trowa as Trowa lifted him into his arms. Quatre, feeling this intimate contact again, held tightly, not wanting to let it go. Trowa made his way to the livingroom and sat on the couch. Duo made sure Quatre was okay and then vnished to make food. Trowa sat with Quatre for a few moments in the quiet, until Quatre shivered and pressed into Trowa.

"Are you okay, little one?" Trowa asked.

"Cold," Quatre murmured.

Trowa's hands slipped to Quatre's shirt and he slid his hands up and moved his fingers over Quatre's belly. "Do you want...?"

"Yes," Quatre interrupted Trowa, eagerly pulling his shirt up. Trowa helped him and then pulled his own shirt off. Quatre turned so he was straddling Trowa and their mouths met, Quatre pushing his tongue into Trowa's mouth, exploring and twisting it, playing with Trowa's own tongue. Quatre pressed their chests together and pushed his hips downwards, wanting more of Trowa.

"You think you guys could stop eating each other long enough to eat some food?"

They both stopped and looked at Duo, and Quatre began blushing. The moment he saw the plate full of small meat treats and sauce, he forgot about blushing and reached for it eagerly. Duo laughed and handed it to Quatre, who began to eat quickly, happiness and joy shining in his face with each bite. He still sat astride Trowa, and seemed quite content not to move, every now and then pausing in his own eating to feed Trowa, or hand a few treats to Duo, sharing. Duo took the plate when it was empty and set it on the table, then a hissing whistle sounded, startling Quatre, and Duo jumped off the couch, running out of the room without explaining. A moment later he returned with a large cup of tea.

"Tea!" Quatre cried out, snatching it from Duo and almost spilling.

"Slow down, there, Quatre," Duo laughed as Quatre eagerly sipped the tea and then panted as it burned his tongue. The blonde boy blew on the tea, cooling it, then slowly sipped it. He closed his eyes and smiled, drinking more, then jumped as the front door suddenly slammed open. Duo grabbed the cup deftly before Quatre dropped it. Quatre pressed into Trowa for protection against the sudden noise and buried his face in Trowa's neck.

"Hee-chan? Wuffles?" Duo called out and ran to the hall. He blinked as he saw Heero and Wufei, the latter sliding a blindfold off a beautiful young girl. Her hair hung to her lower back, and was a deep black, adorned with tiny braids. She blinked her deep grey eyes to get used to the light, and then saw Duo.

"Hi!" Duo waved.

"Is he awake?" Heero asked.

Duo nodded. "He's in the livingroom with Trowa, now. No shirts, again."

Heero smirked and gave Duo a hello kiss, to the girl's staring eyes. Duo knew she was staring for two reasons. One, because two boys had just kissed, and two, because Duo had a three foot long braid.

"This is Kadiri Doreine, Duo," Wufei explained. "This is Duo Maxwell. Kadiri refuses to give us the drug unless she gets to see Quatre."

"Do you know him?" Duo asked suspiciously.

"We've met before, yes," Kadiri nodded.

"Um, I'll just go ask Trowa if you can see him," Duo said, and dashed back to the livingroom, to find Trowa gently kissing Quatre's neck, the arabian hugging him.

"Hey, Tro, Kadiri wants to see Quatre," Duo asked. "She says she won't give it to us unless we let her see him. Can she?" Trowa felt Quatre stiffen in his arms as Duo spoke, but they needed to get the antidote drug. He nodded, and Duo vanished again. Trowa gently turned Quatre around to face forward, but didn't torture him by making him get off. Quatre sighed into Trowa and closed his eyes. Duo returned with Heero, Wufei, and a long black haired young girl, who had to be Kadiri Doreine. The girl's mouth opened at the sight of the two of them as they were, but she quickly shut it and composed herself.

"Quatre?" Kadiri asked. Quatre's eyes shot open at her voice, and he saw her.

"No-o!" he wailed suddenly, startling everyone, and began trembling more again. "I'm s-sorry! I'm sorry!" Quatre withdrew into a tight ball and began to sob violently. Kadiri rushed forward before the others could catch her and fell to her knees beside Quatre.

"No, no, it's okay, little chibi," she soothed, rubbing her hand through Quatre's hair. "It's okay. I'm not angry."

"But I k-killed her!" Quatre whimpered. "I killed N-nishi!"

"You did not kill her, chibi!" Kadiri said firmly. "You did not kill my mother. My mother loved you, Quatre!"

"B-but..."

"Stop it, chibi," Kadiri ordered firmly. "You did not kill Nishi. They killed Nishi, and they were punished. But you should not be punishing yourself for someone else's sin, so stop!"

Quatre looked at her, and suddenly let go of Trowa and reached for Kadiri. "Kadi!" He sobbed into her chest.

Kadiri took Quatre in her arms and hugged him, stroking his back. "It's alright, Quatre."

"You call him chibi," Trowa stated. "Who are you to him?"

"My mother was the one who brought him food," Kadiri explained. "And, after they killed her to test Quatre's empathy, I brought him his food."

"Did you bring him food often?" Duo asked, his eyes cold.

Kadiri closed her eyes. "I tried to, every day...but sometimes they wouldn't let me."

"Are they dead?"

Kadiri turned questioning eyes on Heero. "What?"

"The men who did this to him," Heero said. "Are they dead?"

"Yes," Kadiri replied. "They all died when the base was attacked. And before you freak out again, Quatre, that wasn't your fault, either." Quatre pulled back from Kadiri and blinked at her, then returned to Trowa's embrace, wrapping his arms around the more familiar form.

"You know, I never thought about being forceful with him," Wufei admitted. "Quatre's always been the cutest of us all, we all naturally sympathized and comforted him."

"Well, he does need comfort," Kadiri admitted. "But you have to tell him it's not his fault, what happened. But, then again, you guys don't know everything that happened. I was there, I would know better."

"Why do you call him chibi?" Duo asked curiously.

"Because my mother, Nishi, called him little chibi all the time. It's a comforting memory. Do you call him anything? A nickname?"

"Q-bean, Q, Quat, Q-man, Quatre, Q-ripster, Q-Q..."

"Duo," Heero shut him up.

"I call him little one," Trowa said.

"And you call him angel, and koi," Wufei added, and Trowa nodded.

"I assume you're his boyfriend, then?" Kadiri asked Trowa.

"No," Trowa shook his head. "Not boyfriend. Soulmate."

Kadiri whistled. "Deep. So you love him, then? And he loves you?"

"Completely," Trowa said, and Quatre's head nodded in agreement.

"What are you going to do to help him, then?" Kadiri asked, and Trowa looked at Quatre.

"I'm doing all I can," he said softly, then looked to his friends. "Can you take Kadiri and explain it all to her?"

"Sure," Duo came over to them. "Be right back, Q," he ruffled Quatre's hair, and Quatre swatted a hand at him absently. "You go back to makin' out with Tro." Quatre blushed as Kadiri was led out of the room.

Duo, Heero, and Wufei quickly explained to Kadiri the two choices they had, and how they had to make a desicion soon. Kadiri agreed it was impossible to sanely choose how to hurt their best friend.

"In a case like this," Kadiri pointed out. "You have to ask the person how they want to deal with it. In other words, ask Quatre."

"But anything we say might trigger another memory and cause him more pain," Duo protested.

"He's getting memories triggered all the time," Kadiri defended. "But the sooner you ask him, and take that risk, you'll know what he wants, and you'll be able to help him. I suspect he'll just want to deal with it right away with the antidote drug. And, if he does, we'll just have to make sure we keep him in reality. We won't let him fall into his mind again."

"We?" Wufei asked.

"Of course," Kadiri said. "I was Quatre's only friend and comfort after they killed my mother, Nishi. I've wondered where he was for the last seven years. I'm not going to leave him. Now, c'mon." She grabbed Wufei's hand and dragged the startled boy back into the livingroom. Wufei cursed at her in chinese and pulled his hand away, but she ignored him, walking up and sitting on the table in front of Quatre and Trowa. Trowa had laid down on the couch, and Quatre was laying comfortably on top of him, his head on Trowa's chest.

"Chibi," Kadiri said. "I have to ask you something, and you have to make a desicion. Will you do that for me?" Quatre opened his eyes and swivelled them up to look at Kadiri, nodding. "Okay. I want to know how you want to deal with these flashbacks." Quatre stiffened and began to shake, and Trowa cast a wary and alarmed gaze at Kadiri. "Chibi? Quatre, look at me!" Kadiri ordered firmly, and Quatre's eyes met hers again. "We need to know if you want to just let them come out, or if you want to deal with them all at once. Either way is going to hurt. Letting the memories come out on their own will probably take a long time, and very confusing and painful, but if we give you an antidote drug, they'll all come back at once, which will hurt as well. Which one do you want to do? Quatre!" Quatre's eyes opened again. "Which one do you want?"

"I...," Quatre blinked rapidly for a moment, then closed his eyes tightly again.

"Quatre, look at me! Stop closing your eyes and look at me and tell me!" Kadiri ordered. "I can't have you drifting off on me right now. Don't let the memories take you. You're fifteen, now, and you have Trowa and a group of really good friends. You're not there!"

Quatre's eyes shot open and he looked at Kadiri, breathing heavily. "I...I know I'm not there...but it's so hard..." His eyes closed again.

"Quatre!" Kadiri scolded, and he opened them again, swallowing. "That's better," she said as his eyes focused on her. "Now, as a mature fifteen year old, which way do you want to go? Either way, we're all going to be here for you."

"I...," Quatre thought for a moment. "I want...I want it to all end! I want to get it over with!" He clenched a fist, tears leaking from his eyes. "I just want it to stop hurting!"

"We'll give you the antidote drug, then," Kadiri agreed. "But, Quatre, you have to assure me that you will try your hardest to stay with us. There's the chance you'll fall into your memories in your mind and won't come out again, or be able to hear us. You have to try your hardest to remember that they're not real, and that what happened is over, and you're safe now. I know the memories will hurt, but we're here to share the burden, okay?"

"O-okay, Kadi," he replied.

"Right then!" Kadiri smiled. "Tommorrow, we'll give you the antidote drug. And, hopefully, by tommorrow night, you'll be your chipper little self again! Now, I suggest we have some hot chocolate. I have a deep craving for hot chocolate. With marshmallows. And subs for dinner! And maybe a movie or two..."

"We get the hint," Duo laughed. "I guess tonight is movie night then!"

"Wow, great idea, Duo!" Kadiri clapped her hands. "Let's get ready, then. But first, do you have a phone I can use? I need to call my uncle and tell him I'm staying over for the night in a house all alone with five very hot guys!"

* * *

And that is Kadiri. I hope you all liked this chap, but I warn you now, the next chap is not written, so it may be a while. But winter means hibernation in the house, which means more spare time, so let's all hope.

Storm


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